Carter's Story

Thursday December 6th started like any other day. We did not wake up that day knowing that we would be forever changed. Shortly after arriving at work I began to experience pain that I quickly realized were contractions, at 20 weeks I knew that I should not have been feeling this pain. Rob picked up from work and by the time we made it to the hospital I was fully into the stages of labor and there was nothing they could do to stop the process. Our baby boy Carter was born and forever became our angel. Our lives have forever been changed and we don't yet know where the healing process will take us. Right now we are focused on Caila and helping her heal, she continues to amaze us with her understanding, but what she wants more then anything and we wish we could give her is the baby brother she always wanted and never had the chance to know.

We now Know we lost him due to Incompetent Cervix & Placental Abruption. If you have found our blog because you are now embarking on your own journey of grief and healing our hearts go out to you. May you be surrounded with love and not ever expect to much of yourself. Normal will never be the same, you will never be the same, and that's ok. My hope is that some of the resources I found to be lifesaving will help you as well.


Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Happy Birthday Carter

Four years ago…. Where has the time gone? Life looks so different for us now. Carter taught us so much about ourselves, that one day changed everything for us.

We will never forget, and the pain sucked until one day it didn’t so much, There is so much I could say but all that matters is that we can see the why now, and that We chose to be Coffee….




A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling.It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.Her mother took her to the kitchen.She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil.In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl.She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.''Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled eggFinally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water.Each reacted differently.The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting.However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak The egg had been fragile.Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.The ground coffee beans were unique, however.After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.'Which are you?' she asked her daughter.'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?Think of this:Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat?Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?Or am I like the coffee bean?The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level?How do you handle adversity?Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes a long their way.The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.